
Growing up I had a few security items. Things I held close to me, that i found comfort and reassurance in. A teddy was one of those security items for me. Rupert as he is affectionally known as is a teddy I’ve had for a long time, Rupert came on my first camping trip with me, he sat in my wardrobe during hard times, I shared my secrets and fears with him, he traveled to the many places I’ve called home. Rupert has been part of my long journey, for a few years he only sat in my wardrobe, but as I left home and went on my big adventure from a sea side small town to the big city. Rupert came with me.
Rupert always sat on the right hand side of my bed after I made it every morning. I Snuggled with him for many years, used him to catch my tears. Especially the years I felt so alone. It was only on March 20th 2021, the day Sean and I got married that Rupert had to find a new place. He now sits in a basket in our lounge room. You see, Rupert could have easily made a home in between Sean and I, but sometimes we have to pack some of our security up to embrace a promise.
I know it’s kind of a silly story. But I’m sure there’s many ‘security’ items we all hold onto.. our status at work, what we own, our mental health, our relationship status.. etc etc. I know for myself I lived in an identity of having depression, anxiety and PTSD.. I carried these experiences and found comfort in them. I knew them very well, I’m familar with them, I can feel them in my body. I know the second I’m about to have a panic attack, I know the moment I’m about to fall into a trauma flashback.. I’m familiar with how my body responds to a trigger. I’ve held my mental illnesses as a top security because I’ve felt so inadequate to be anything else.
As I slowly work through and start to find healing I’m slowly starting to pack up my securities and find new identity in the truth of God, at times it seems fairly easy and other days I feel like I’m overwhelmed, its very easy to keep going back to my old security and finding comfort in their familiarity. When we enter into a new security in the Lord we can have mixed feelings, it can be illogical, scary and unknown because the security that we’ve held onto is comfortable and familiar. The ins and outs are easy to stick with.
BUT, Thats not what God has for us. There has to come a point where we pack up our security so we can have a bigger capacity for what God is calling us into. If we consistently hold onto our false refugees, the place we get our worth from.. we have no ability to hold onto and walk into the things God is calling us to. If i didn’t put Rupert into a basket and instead kept him in my bed next to me, I can’t fully embrace the new season of marriage, we have to make room for new promises.
The old security becomes a place of reference from a chapter in our lives but not a place that is sustaining us. The Lord says when you let go of the familiar and the security that you know, you can embrace a greater capacity in Him. We have to make room for Him. I know it’s not as easy as just packing it up, it takes time, wisdom and developing a new routine. Trust me, it’s taken me 10 years to finally start to pack up my mental illnesses (yes i know they can still impact me) and find security in who God is calling me to.
I know in this season of my life God is protecting my heart, I’m getting wisdom on where I put my energy, Who I let into my inner circle, God is showing me that He is hiding me until I’m ready for what He has.. and so many other truths. But as I slowly walk into what He wants I can start to lighten my arms with all the security I’ve felt I need to carry and embrace the truth of what God has for me. My old security will become a reference, so I can embrace the full capacity of my promise.
What security do you need to pack up so you can grab onto your true promise?
Breannon Rennick


