I’m Letting Go

Growing up I had a few security items. Things I held close to me, that i found comfort and reassurance in. A teddy was one of those security items for me. Rupert as he is affectionally known as is a teddy I’ve had for a long time, Rupert came on my first camping trip with me, he sat in my wardrobe during hard times, I shared my secrets and fears with him, he traveled to the many places I’ve called home. Rupert has been part of my long journey, for a few years he only sat in my wardrobe, but as I left home and went on my big adventure from a sea side small town to the big city. Rupert came with me.

Rupert always sat on the right hand side of my bed after I made it every morning. I Snuggled with him for many years, used him to catch my tears. Especially the years I felt so alone. It was only on March 20th 2021, the day Sean and I got married that Rupert had to find a new place. He now sits in a basket in our lounge room. You see, Rupert could have easily made a home in between Sean and I, but sometimes we have to pack some of our security up to embrace a promise.

I know it’s kind of a silly story. But I’m sure there’s many ‘security’ items we all hold onto.. our status at work, what we own, our mental health, our relationship status.. etc etc. I know for myself I lived in an identity of having depression, anxiety and PTSD.. I carried these experiences and found comfort in them. I knew them very well, I’m familar with them, I can feel them in my body. I know the second I’m about to have a panic attack, I know the moment I’m about to fall into a trauma flashback.. I’m familiar with how my body responds to a trigger. I’ve held my mental illnesses as a top security because I’ve felt so inadequate to be anything else.

As I slowly work through and start to find healing I’m slowly starting to pack up my securities and find new identity in the truth of God, at times it seems fairly easy and other days I feel like I’m overwhelmed, its very easy to keep going back to my old security and finding comfort in their familiarity. When we enter into a new security in the Lord we can have mixed feelings, it can be illogical, scary and unknown because the security that we’ve held onto is comfortable and familiar. The ins and outs are easy to stick with.

BUT, Thats not what God has for us. There has to come a point where we pack up our security so we can have a bigger capacity for what God is calling us into. If we consistently hold onto our false refugees, the place we get our worth from.. we have no ability to hold onto and walk into the things God is calling us to. If i didn’t put Rupert into a basket and instead kept him in my bed next to me, I can’t fully embrace the new season of marriage, we have to make room for new promises.

The old security becomes a place of reference from a chapter in our lives but not a place that is sustaining us. The Lord says when you let go of the familiar and the security that you know, you can embrace a greater capacity in Him. We have to make room for Him. I know it’s not as easy as just packing it up, it takes time, wisdom and developing a new routine. Trust me, it’s taken me 10 years to finally start to pack up my mental illnesses (yes i know they can still impact me) and find security in who God is calling me to.

I know in this season of my life God is protecting my heart, I’m getting wisdom on where I put my energy, Who I let into my inner circle, God is showing me that He is hiding me until I’m ready for what He has.. and so many other truths. But as I slowly walk into what He wants I can start to lighten my arms with all the security I’ve felt I need to carry and embrace the truth of what God has for me. My old security will become a reference, so I can embrace the full capacity of my promise.

What security do you need to pack up so you can grab onto your true promise?

Breannon Rennick

What is Heaven Saying?

Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and disappointed with life. I felt like everything I looked at in life was grey, as if the colour had been washed out of my world. Many years ago I was in a very similar situation. I was magnifying all the ‘bad’ things in my life.. my job, my mental health, my struggles, my friendships etc. I was so focused on the negative things happening in my world that I couldn’t see hope. I magnified my situation to a point that I couldn’t see a way out. One night I was begging God to fix a situation and to take me out of it. At that moment I saw a vision of myself taken from Earth and seated next to God in Heaven, I could no longer see the problems and chaos that I had been magnifying and I felt Him say to me ‘What is heaven saying about this?’ as God spoke to me about my hope and my future I felt my perspective change. 

 

We live in a world where people post all the negative things going on in the world, all the fear and anguish, but God calls us to prophesy the hope and love of God to declare who He is in this world, not to focus on what the enemy is doing to kill, steal and destroy but to prophesy the goodness and faithfulness of God. To find out what Heaven is saying about the situation and to pray exactly that. To magnify God. We have to call a timeout and ask God what He is saying. Yes, something might be factual on earth but we need to be asking God what He is saying about the situation. Once we start to talk about the angelic and Heaven the atmospheres around us will start to change.

If there’s anything in our life that feels hopeless, it is under the influence of a lie. God has equipped us with hope and everything we need for that exact situation. I know that God has equipped me to walk through depression and anxiety, to walk through it.. not to stay in it. Some days are frustrating and painful but when I choose to magnify what Heaven is saying, I change my perspective, I rise above it. By partnering with God my environment changes, I can’t help but become more hope-filled.

Proverbs 18:21 “Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life, and the talkative person will reap the consequences” (Passion Translation) We need to watch what we are talking about and who we are talking about. What are we saying about people? Are we bringing life or death? The words we speak live and have life, until we contract them with the truth of God’s word. When we speak negatively about our situations or other people we are allowing the enemy to wreak havoc and cause destruction in our lives and other people’s lives. It’s our job to prophesy hope and life, not destruction and fear. We need to be conscious of what we are saying over ourselves and others.  When we are faced with difficult situations and people we should be asking ‘What is Heaven saying about this?’

 

 With the uncertainty of life with COVID and all that’s happening in the world we can become so focused on what we think is right or wrong. We have many opinions. I know for myself when I spend too much time listening or reading what other people are saying I can feel my internal world becoming chaotic and fearful. This past week I’ve been trying to lean more into ‘What is Heaven saying?’ ‘What should I prophecy over this situation?’ ‘What is God doing inside of my heart?’ As I lean more into Him I find peace, joy and rest. 

My challenge for you this week is to lean into Him, to get Heaven’s perspective and to be conscious of what you are saying over yourself and others. 

 

Some helpful question I use:

1.     What am I magnifying that doesn’t need my attention?

2.     What is God asking me to magnify?

3.     What is Heaven saying about my situation?

4.     What do I need to prophesy over myself, my family, my friends and the world? 

5.     Is there anything in me that needs to be realigned with a Kingdom perspective? 

THE HEART

Hello friends,

It’s been a couple weeks since I last posted but I’m back! I needed to take a little moment for my heart to find peace and to settle. I needed to ride out those waves of life. I’m so thankful I have people in my life that hold my heart well. They always point me towards growth and healing which is what I want to speak about today.

When I started this journey of healing and overcoming I was extremely closed off, didn’t trust many people and held everyone away from my heart. I was mostly scared of being hurt, people judging and feared being abandoned. My heart longed to be known and to have people close, but my mind needed to protect me. To me this wasn’t a bad thing, it was a way of coping with the world around me, the chaos inside me and being able to make it through every day, I was in consistent survival mode.

As I began to heal and little by little my heart began to open itself to those closest to me, I have started to learn how to trust people with my heart. It’s been a beautiful process and one I cherish. I’m thankful for the years of protection, it was what I needed in that moment. I’m grateful that I’ve found people to trust and to let into my heart. This drawing came from a place of healing my heart so it could grow and flourish.

How did I start letting myself trust people after so long?

1. THERAPY- my favourite ‘T’ word, but honestly having someone I can process pain with and letting her into my ‘scary’ stuff has been so healing for my heart. Do yourself a favour and find a kind, gentle, caring therapist! Shoutout to mine, she’s an angel! Therapy isn’t just for when something is going ‘wrong’ in you life, it’s for processing, growing, healing and so many good things!

2. PRACTICE – My brain had been so wired to not trust people, to be sceptical, to hold people away from me so I didn’t get hurt and I’m still on the journey of trusting. I have to choose to let people in, I have to choose to communicate, I have to choose to share my heart. It doesn’t come naturally to me but every time I choose I’m changing the pathways in my brain. It’s hard, sometimes I want to run but it’s so worth fighting for

3. TEARS – I cried for the first time in a long time this year. My heart needed it. I held so much pain and hurt that needed to be let out. I didn’t realise how healing it would be to let those tears out so I could let people back in. Let yourself feel whatever is going on in your heart and then ask God to guide you in processing those emotions. Some of the biggest things I had to learn is crying isn’t bad and there isn’t any bad emotions just emotions that need to be processed, they are good indicators of what’s happening inside you.

4. FORGIVENESS – I had to forgive so many people who I had felt hurt me, betrayed my trust, caused me pain etc. I had to forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive. Holding on to the pain was only keeping me in a crappy position, they probably didn’t even know they had hurt me but my bitterness and anger destroyed my trust in people. I have learnt from a lot of those situations and I’m still very careful who is in ‘my circle’ but I learnt to forgive so my heart could flourish in healthy relationships.

If your little heart needs healing I pray you find some people that hold your heart gently, nature you and pray for you. Everyones heart needs a little love, healing and growth. I hope this week you can start to process what’s happening in your heart and see healing take place.

Also, a little shout-out to those special people in my life that hold my heart and help guide me towards more healing. It’s an honour to have you on this journey, thank you for being patient and kind.

Until next time, Breannon xx

WAVES OF LIFE

Hello Friends, 

I would like to thank you all for your messages, likes, shares and encouragement! I feel so blessed and thankful. Today, I would love to talk about the waves of life and some helpful tips I’ve learnt over this year to successfully ride the waves. 

We all have waves that come through our lives, sometimes they are overwhelming and we feel like we are being stretched too far, other times they are small interruptions. Maybe you feel like the waves will never stop coming and you’re consistently smashed in the face. I spent the first half of this year with consistent waves knocking me down, where I could only just hold my head above the water, so I know it’s exhausting, But there is hope that it doesn’t always have to be like that. God can transform your life, He has for me and I believe He will do it for you.

Here’s what I have learnt through this journey:

  1. WAVES ARE JUST WAVES- they come and they go. When you’re feeling like the waves of life are dragging you down, take a moment to picture in your mind where the wave is, watch it come close, go over it and look behind you as it goes away. This helped me in those dark moments when thoughts and feelings felt so overwhelming. Instead of letting them crush me I would close my eyes and watch the wave come, imagine myself going over it and see it go away. I would do this over and over again until the wave would become smaller, less scary and not so overwhelming. The anxiety of whatever the wave represented became easier to face. 
  2. WE ARE CREATED FOR RELATIONSHIP- we are created to do this together. Whether that is your friends, family, therapist, whoever is in your circle – you need them! There were certain times I couldn’t hold myself over the waves so I had to call on my circle. They prayed for me when I couldn’t myself, talked me through the darkness until I found the core issue. They championed me in all my victories, they held me over the wave. Please don’t do life on your own. Find your people, allow them to speak into your pain. There’s healing in a healthy community.
  3. YOUR PAIN IS YOUR REALITY AND IT’S VALID- I always had this thing of ‘others have had it worse’ and it was so toxic in my journey to healing and freedom, it wasn’t until I fully acknowledged my hurt that I could move past it. What you’re going through right now is valid, it’s your reality and it deserves full recognition and acknowledgement of what it’s stolen from you. I’m sorry if others have told you that it’s ‘not that bad’ or ‘things could be worse’ or any other toxic comment, whatever you’re going through deserves to be held gently with your circle and walked through. It’s not your identity, it’s not who you are but it is valid and you can heal. 
  4. THINGS WILL CHANGE- I thought I would always have depression and struggle with daily life. I didn’t see a future without it. But through prayer, counselling and God’s miracle I have started to fall in love with living and have hope for my future. God is in all things and through all things, He is big enough to hear your pain and help you through it, He can and He will change your life, He is too good not to! I had to choose to want the healing and He took it from there. If you’re not of faith, your life will still change, moments are only temporary and you have everything inside of you to make change. 
  5. YOU’RE MORE THAN YOUR LABELS-  If you read my blog last week I wrote about this. But one of my biggest issues was the fear of not knowing who I am without my labels. Sometimes we let our identity be so consumed by the things we have rather than the truth of who we are without all those things. Give yourself permission to be free of your circumstances and live in the truth of who God calls you to be. 

I learnt so many lessons over the past year, I hope these ones help you in your healing journey and you begin to see God free you. I pray you ride the waves with grace and hope with whatever life has for you. Below is a little prayer that I pray out loud to help me in getting through the waves of life. I hope it blesses you in your journey too. There’s so much power in speaking hope over yourself.  

  • I bless my spirit to lead my soul and body
  • I bless my spirit to see God in all things
  • I bless my spirit to receive peace, love, grace, hope, joy and self control
  • I bless my spirit to walk in the calling God has given me
  • I bless my spirit to ‘set my eyes on things above’ and overcome the worries of this world.
  • I bless my spirit to live more aware of Heaven than Earth
  • I bless my spirit to receive breakthrough in all areas of my life

THE HEALING GARDEN

Hello Lovelies, 

Alright, here we go. Firstly, thank you for joining me on this adventure. It is an honour to have you here. This year has been interesting! Back in March I went from working 5 days a week, to working 3 days a week due to COVID. That forced me into having a lot of free time. Free time I didn’t want, I was very happy being busy all the time, it allowed me to distract myself from all of the struggles I had pushed down. All of a sudden I had ample time to sit and reflect on all of my pain. After a few weeks my mental health declined a lot and I was becoming extremely unwell. There was one particular day I knew I had to make a different decision before I was at a serious crisis point. So, I picked up the phone and called my counsellor, that moment has been one of the most defining decisions I have made in this healing process.

Since that phone call, I have spent many hours in counselling, prayer ministry, drawing, writing and focusing on self-care. I have successfully processed some of my heaviest moments, asked for help, cried, celebrated the wins and started to see myself enjoying life. I never thought I would ever find myself living in this deep, true freedom. I began to let go of the labels I had and held onto so tight and have begun to live in the truth of who God calls me to be. I have always been a little scared to open up about my mental health and heal, because it was all I knew about myself, it was my whole identity. I was scared that without depression and anxiety I was nothing, I wouldn’t know who I was anymore, and that itself, was more terrifying than what I was suffering.But, As I began to open up about my struggles and identify my areas of pain, God never lacked to teach me who I truly was, I never questioned my identity without the labels I held so tightly, not once was I left trying to find myself again, in fact, I was overwhelmed by His goodness, His truth about me and excited about my future. There was true freedom, kindness and truth in healing.

So, with all this said, I started to pray about what God wanted me to do. This idea of drawing and writing came to me while I was in prayer ministry a few months ago. While I was processing memories, God showed me the most wonderful, bright, beautiful Garden of Healing. It was a picture of my future, the way He sees me, and the overwhelming joy He promises me, it was gentle and so peaceful. My soul knew it was home inside this garden. There is something so beautiful, calming and reassuring when looking at nature, it’s like a warm hug to the heart. We find healing in the stillness of the garden God has created. We all need a healing garden, a place to assess our lives, reconnect back to God, find peace, and heal our souls. I pray that today you will find a moment to close your eyes, find peace and allow yourself to walk through the garden. I pray as you sit in the garden that you find healing, your soul would feel refreshed and you would let God take you on a journey. Find yourself again in The Garden of Healing xx

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